January 2nd, 2018, 4:43 PM. Case #8394758 – Suspect is a blond adolescent lady who has been observed concealing items on her person during Fresh Year’s store reorganization. The Loss Prevention Officer detains the suspect and escorts her to the backroom. While there, the suspect claims to have no skill of alleged theft. The officer believes the stolen genitals are hidden under the perp’s shirt. Advanced retrieval methods are deployed. The rest of this case is considered classified. Evidence logged on January 2, 2018.